Sora's Birthday Present
by Rytex
Summary: It's Sora's birthday, and Riku has an interesting present for him.


**Figured I'd try my hand at writing a rated M. So, that said, RATED M FOR A REASON!**

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><p>Sora's Birthday Present<p>

Sora got out of bed that day feeling like today was going to have something special and awesome to him. But, then again, it was his birthday, and awesome, special things tend to happen on peoples' birthdays.

Sora put on his preferred outfit that the fairies had given made for him back in Twilight Town and headed out the door to his house.

He was first met by his mother and father, both of whom cheerily wished him a happy 16th as he made his way out toward the docks so he could get on his boat and maybe go have a Birthday Blitzball Bash with the guys on the island. That's all any of the guys did whenever they had birthdays anyway.

However, before he got anywhere near the docks, he was met by Kairi who wished him a happy 16th and told him she wasn't going to be at his party that night due to something she already had plans for and couldn't avoid.

Sora had decided to take a detour on his way to the docks, the purpose of which was to hunt down Wakka and Tidus, get their lazy asses out of bed, and engage in the sport of amphibious men in the town' community blitzball arena.

Tidus' house wasn't that far from Sora's. A little up the street and a right turn, and a little more up that street. At the door, he was met by Tidus' mother, who wished Sora a happy 16th like everyone else.

"Tidus is upstairs, still asleep in his bed. You want me to wake him up or shall I-"

"Let the lump sleep," came the gruff voice of Jecht from the kitchen table, who was busy reading the sports article of the paper.

"Sora! How's my favorite brow-haired male who's not of my house?" he called, raising a hand.

Sora grinned and waved back.

"Yeah, he had a game that ran late last night, so it's probably best if you let him sleep. Wakka's probably out cold at his house too. Sorry to burst your bubble on this. Guess you'll have to postpone your usual game to tomorrow. You know, I used to play blitzball. I invented this-"

"Here we go," said both Sora and Tidus' mother at the same time while Jecht rambled on about the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III, and the NBL Lockout that ended his career, and that time he performed a Wayne Rooney Bicycle kick into the Blitzball goal, and the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III, and the league as it was now, and how Tidus was probably going to make it to the NBL, but not be better than him, and the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III. All Sora could do was smile, nod, and pretend he was listening, all while trying to find an excuse to leave so he could go see if Wakka was up.

As Sora was hurrying out the door, claiming he had to help set up his own party, Jecht hollered after him "We're still doing practice on Saturday, right? I need a good workout!"

Sora made his way over to Wakka's house to find that he, too, was passed out after the game that was delayed two hours because the other team had gotten caught in traffic on the way from Luca, but despite the long wait leading up to the match, Tidus and Wakka had put two goals in that gave them a 2-1 victory in extra time.

By now, Sora was beginning to be slightly let down by his friends. So far, the only one he had seen was Kairi. Selphie was out of town, Tidus and Wakka were passed out on their beds, and Riku was nowhere to be found.

Sora just shrugged, thinking he might see him at the party later that night.

So he decided to go to the island to kill time until then.

Once he arrived, he made his way toward Riku's usual spot on the Paopu tree, but he wasn't there. Sora did, however, find a note that said "Your present is in the room where you found the cloth sail."

It took Sora a while to remember that the cloth sail was the one for when they had made the raft to go to other worlds. And in true "be careful what you wish for" fashion, they were sent on their quest to save the worlds.

Sora went up to the room to find a very large box, wrapped in purple paper with gold stars. The box was a little taller than Sora, and wide enough to fit at least two whole people inside. Smirking slightly, Sora started to wonder what was in it.

There came an odd sort of thud from inside.

Sora then decided he could wait no longer, and started to open it up.

He tore off the wrappings easily, thinking he was going to have a bit of fun with Riku while he did it, because Riku was obviously inside it. So he pushed the box over, intending to get the wrappings on the bottom. Then, while it was on its side, he turned it on the side that had the arrow pointing to "This Side Up."

Finally, he righted the box and opened it, to reveal a red-faced Riku who sprawled out on the floor of the room off-balance, and who started to massage his head.

"Damn it Sora! Why'd you have to do that!" he asked, half-laughing.

Sora put his trademark grin on his face.

"Well it was your idea to put yourself in a box. Why'd you do that, eh?"

"I got a little help from Kairi while you went off to find Tidus and Wakka. She knew you'd be distracted at their house, and anyway, here's your present."

He'd had his hands behind his back for some time now, and he held them out, revealing a Struggle Club.

"Why a Struggle Club?"

"You haven't seen what else is inside."

So Sora looked back in the box and discovered a piñata. A Justin Bieber piñata.

Sora grinned.

"Riku, I love you in the most heterosexual way possible."

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><p><strong>Well, I did say Rated M for a reason... but I never said what that reason was for, did I? 'Twas for the word "asses." Congratulations, yaoi fangirls, you've just been trolled.<strong> **Now, I thought I'd write one of these parodies for the sake of flam-bait from the people who read yaoi lemons. Well, if you had taken the time to read my profile, you would know I abhor yaoi and yuri.** **Also, you'll notice the story is listed as romance. That last sentence characterizes it, but it needs to be called "Bromance" instead.**

**The truly easy part was the name and summary. I mean, come on. Suggestive name, suggestive summary, easy readers (or in this case, victims).  
><strong>

**So, please flame away, if you feel like doing so. This is a legitimate work of fiction, so there's really no reason to report me. Consider this a lesson to you, if you will. Always make sure to check out the story by looking at the reviews (if any are there) before reading it to see if it is what you expected.**

**Rytex out!**


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